Almost eleven years ago, in the mysterious land of Toronto, Canada, Scott Pilgrim almost had his ass handed to him by Ramona Flowers’ seven evil exes throughout the entirety of director Edgar Wright’s Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. While each and every one of these adversaries is evil in their own special way, they’re certainly not all created equal. In fact, some of them have some valid baggage when it comes to their relationship with the woman who spurned them all.
With that in mind, and with the world still high off of the big 10th anniversary re-release that saw Edgar Wright’s cult favorite back in theaters this past weekend, it’s time to rank Ramona’s seven evil exes. Looking at everything from their fighting styles to their relationship backstories, we can make a decision on who’s simply misunderstood and who’s really the most despicable baddie in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’s speed-fighting caper. Let’s count this one off, for old time’s sake: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
7. Gideon Graves
I don’t care if Gideon Graves (Jason Schwartzman) is so good at being charming, he could hide his true evil until the very last second. Not even his exemplary sense of style excuses the fact that this man is adept with a sword, isn’t afraid to hit women and even uses a mind control chip on Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) to keep her in his grasp. He’s a creep, and if the trio of Ramona, Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) and Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) didn’t finish him off, I’d have been rooting for the gum he swallowed to do the job. Gideon Graves is not just the leader of the League of Evil Exes, he’s also a client; and a very dastardly one at that!
6. Todd Ingram
Todd Ingram (Brandon Routh) is only one slight step above Gideon Graves in the official hierarchy of Scott Pilgrim vs The World’s evil exes. The big advantage he has is that his evil is fueled more by dimwitted bravado than overblown intelligence. Other than that, Todd’s an incorrigibly cocky cock who relies on vegan powers to exert his supposed supremacy. All of that could have put him higher up on the scale of evil exes, but one horrific act keeps him right next to his sociopathic boss: he punched Knives Chau so hard, the highlights left her hair! That’s not quite Gideon Graves-style evil, but it does violate the somewhat unwritten law that if you’re being cruel to Knives, you really need to rethink your actions.
5. & 4. Ken And Kyle Katanyagi
Ok, putting all of the cards on the table for the moment, we don’t really get to see much of Kyle and Ken Katanyagi (Shota and Keita Saito) in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. What little we do see of them is when they, at the behest of Gideon Graves, face off against Sex Bob-Omb at the Toronto International Battle of the Bands. But with a fighting style that involves summoning twin dragons through electronic music, and an icy cold demeanor that makes the twins from The Shining seem “playful,” this deadly duo is more scary than insidious. So their lot is more on the unsympathetic side of the spectrum in this universe.
3. Roxy Richter
Now it’s time to really dig into the relatively nicer, and potentially sympathetic suitors that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World sees Scott trying to best for the affections of Ramona. Right in the metaphorical middle is none other than bi-furious lesbian ninja Roxy Richter (Mae Whitman). On the one hand, the way Ramona dismisses her relationship with Roxy as a phase is seriously harsh, and the entertaining ass-kicking that she tries to deliver has been earned. But on the other hand, her impressive ninja skills are tempered by an evil bitterness that comes from the heart. Roxy’s not totally evil, she’s emotionally driven towards revenge, which even shows in her orgasmic defeat as she considers herself a superior lover for Ramona.
2. Matthew Patel
Childhood heartbreak hurts pretty damned hard, so Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’s backstory for Matthew Patel (Satya Bhabha) plays very heavily on the sympathy angle. While he’s initially mistaken for a pirate, Matthew’s fighting style is way more mystical, with fireballs and demon hipster chicks at the ready. Throw in the fact that he’s the most understanding when it comes to Scott’s cluelessness about the League of Evil Exes, and you’ve almost got the most sympathetic ex in the bouquet of break-ups from one Ramona Flowers.
1. Lucas Lee
When he’s not doing a grindy thingy on icy garbage rails or letting his stunt doubles do the wide shots while he gets blazed in his Winny, Lucas Lee (Chris Evans) can definitely be charming when he wants to be. Of course, that’s when he’s not ready to call, “Cut!’ on his own acting career to kick the shit out of Scott Pilgrim when he should be delivering blockbusters. Even with his dirty trick of using his doubles to fight Scott, Lucas actually approaches Ramona with an air of conversation and catching up.
Lucas even mentions how he thinks that Scott “seems nice,” though it's right before throwing him into one of Casa Loma’s spired towers. Most importantly, though, is the fact that none of Ramona Flowers’ other exes even try to approach her with that sort of attitude. Everyone else is either trying to control her or “make her pay” for how she hurt them. Considering Lucas was cruelly dumped by Ramona to run off with Todd Ingram, that’s technically growth! Which is why, while I never thought I’d actually say this, Lucas Lee is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’s best ex.
It’s a very subjective subject, to be fair, but so are love and warfare. This is where think pieces, tweets and reader polls come into play when it comes to furthering the discussion at hand. However, it feels pretty fair that we can all agree that 10, almost 11 years later, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World still rocks! And if you’re in agreement, you should head out to your closest Dolby Cinema at AMC Theaters location, as you only have until Thursday to catch Edgar Wright’s pseudo-musical fantasy back on the big screen.